Almost (in)famous(ly incompetent).

So I thought this post should really be a narrative between all of my personalities in my head, but I don't really have a clever name for my ego and writing a dialogue about today would be a) a lot of work and b) kind of stupid. Besides, Mike's Ego (Mick?) has had a tough enough day already without everyone laughing at his expense.

I was selected as an ambassador for the school for a segment on BaliTV. My progress has been good and I'm a tourist.. Go Bali! It was a stunning day and the hill was all a buz with activity. The camera crew was there and a beautiful Balinese woman was doing the commentary. All the pros were doing cool flyby's and there were tonnes of great footage of people gently soaring over the ocean like poster children for some sort of serenity foundation. I was getting my gear ready and it was time for my big brush with local fame. - Enter Mike stage left - I was asked a bunch of vanilla questions about my experience and why I was here, about safety and what flying was like in my country. Well... I'm not really sure how flying actually is near Toronto, but I faked it all the same. I also lied and said that "it has always been a dream of mine to paraglide", because it seemed like something someone magnanimous would say. The story of a desire to surf and a succession of seat sales bringing me eventually to Bali, resulting in my accidental passion for paragliding seemed something that my adoring fans did not want to hear ;)

Ok.. time to fly... I can hear her talking to the camera in Bahasa Indonesia, but I could hear "michael" being said a lot. "Watch now as Michael, superstar student, readies himself to launch off this here cliff and realize the dream of the ancients; to soar among the birds". Both camera angles ready. I leaned down to get all of my risers sorted out and a "brush with fame" it was as my face went right into the seat of a very tight pair of designer jeans. "Watch now as Fido the Canadian tourist performs the sacred preflight ceremony, paying homage to all of the God's of Doggie Flight". This was going to be one of those moments that my fragile ego dreads.... I can tell, I'm keen like that. I was finally all set, although already blushing, as I pulled the wing over my head to get this show on the road. "Road rash" is more accurate as my poor launch caused my sorry ass to be dragged all over the launch site. I tried again and still couldn't get it. The camera crew moved onto more camera worthy material. Perfect! However, they set up in the corner of the site and I can just see myself in the background of her commentary, being dragged into and out of frame. Left to right, right to left. Repeatedly. Like 10 times. I eventually had to take a break and it was getting a bit ridiculous. I felt bad for my instructor, but I couldn't help but laugh my ass off. This was funny stuff. Way too funny.

It was a gnarly day on the hill and I saw some more tree landings, ripped canopies, near collisions, my first "crevat" and random scary stuff. One guy who just came in from Singapore really struggled and smashed into the side of the cliff, breaking his leg. The wind was pretty strong and as such you need to do a reverse launch... it's the rule. He didn't know or couldn't do one and insisted on playing it forward anyways. He barely escaped with a scary looking launch, lost some altitude while he got himself settled, turned directly into the cliff, caught some suspension lines on a tree and smacked with brutal force into a very large, bone crushing rock. He awaited rescue, dangling by his canopy two feet off a ground, only slightly above another imposing and sheer rock face. He was actually trying to climb out of his harness, which in this case (I am told), could have easily caused his death. Scare-yeeeee.

The wind picked up and I decided that I was done for the day. Not a great day for the sport from a publicity standpoint, as it was a bit of a gong show.

I really don't know what the hell went wrong with my launches - gotta get that nailed.