Cleaning out some old ramblings. Cobwebs are collecting in the diary and its time to cleanse. Incomplete and not really "polished", but they are my thoughts and thats what this whole blog thing is about. Where else would I put them anyways?
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I downloaded some new books in the Marquesas. I picked about 40, but the Inet connection only allowed me to download a few. These days my mind struggles to understand who I am, who I want to be when I grow up, "The Brothers Karamazov" and now a textbook about general relativity (beggars can't be choosers). It is quite a swing from one to the other - 19th century Rusian history through Dostoyevsky's view of things like the separation of church and state to trying desperately to understand spacetime, tensors and wordlines, all while wondering why my favorite food is bacon, the implications of not having bacon for months at a time and whether bacon still will be my favourite food next year. I can easily say that I've made the slowest progress on all fronts in all of my life , but slowly I get my mind around (except on the bacon front cuz thats simple - magical animal goodness and I may die). Well, I can't say that my mind is going around them, maybe I've just allowed the weight of them to sag into it a bit (a dimple if you will). I have also taken to highlighting every word I don't understand in Karamazov. I realized that a lot of the time when I am reading I take a meaning of a word from the context of the statement, but If I ask myself to define it I can't. Its a painstaking effort and I've got quite a list of them mounting.
A statement that I found interesting:
"All notions, theories, and ideas in physics have a certain domain of validity."
Pretty straight forward statement and I am sure I heard it in a class of some sort at some point but like a lot of things, I never would have thought of it so succinctly without some help. The idea is important in the discussion of Newton's general relativity and "Special Relativity" (where spacetime is flat). It is applied to physics in the book, but I think it can also extend to everyday life. i.e. the domain of validity of this statement extends beyond just physics ;)
The very idea of tolerance ties into this. You need to keep in mind that although something doesn't sit well with you, it is right for perhaps a different set of circumstance, if only in the mind of the person who hatched the theory or belief. It is important to understand where that person believes their idea is valid (although most people including me believe that most of their ideas are applicable universally). You can't make someone believe or act the way that you believe or act is right without changing their belief in where and when your idea is applicable. Some ideas in my mind have a universal domain of validity - "racism is bad" for instance, but for others they may believe that this concept has a very small area of validity or that it is only valid in a small subset of circumstances and situations. i.e. Whites are the only worthy people on earth, except for that one Eskimo at work - he's a good guy. You can't change this situation by saying "Racism is Bad". You need to shrink the situations where that person believes his or her therories are valid and expanding their belief in yours. Its a tall order to see it from their perspective and a taller order to shift others beliefs in what is actually right. (Maybe thats the problem? "Actually right" might apply in the case of racism, but I need to shed this idea in most of what I think. Being "right" is that the domain of validity encompasses a large enough area relative to other possibilities... FOR ME. Get that into your head Mike). All this boils down to the moral #1 of the story: you need to really be passionate about an idea or care about the person immensely to invest the time it takes to truly shift their beliefs. Sometimes you can be passionate about a belief, but not want to fight the good fight.. just nod and smile 1000 miles from land in the South Pacific. Moral #2: Live with open eyes and an open heart. Don't ever ignore someone who you care about who is trying to explain their belief and their domain of validity to you. Respect is a two way street.
Another molehill into a mountain. Check.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: I liked this idea, but I don't think I pulled it off with the verbage. And for the record, I am still reading both these books... dry dry dry :)]
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"For example, if we agree that physical space contains no preferred point – an apparently valid assumption as far as the fundamental laws of physics are concerned – then, according to this point of view, physical space should be modeled on some sort of mathematical space containing no special point, for example, an affine space rather than a vector space. (A vector space contains a special point, namely the null
vector.)"
[EDITOR'S NOTE: Research for my vector quest.]
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This blog is overly dramatic, overly verbose and overly me-centric. Not surprising coming from a long winded drama seeker going through a "self exploration" phase.
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I look forward to being back home, so that I can wish that I was away. The only difference will be that I will have sated my need to be around my family and friends again - the biggest reason for compelling me to come north of the equator this decade. Is this enough? What home?
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Something in me wont pretend that I can't hear someone when they are talking to me. I could have used that today. Thanks mom and dad.
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When will I achieve my greatness?
[EDITOR'S NOTE: When I let it happen. When I am happy with the now instead of the perceived tomorrow.]
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I am on a 35 foot boat. If the first step out of the cabin is 3 feet from the stern and the head is barely amidships, then the maximum amount of usual, one-way walking distance is about 12 feet. It is rare that anyone needs to go forward to do anything really, and if so I might be the one that pulls cockpit duty during such things. My berth is halfway between the steering wheel and the seat less toilet. 3 trips to the head, cook some dinner, take a few naps, wander to and fro to work off some nervous energy. I bet that I don't cover 50 yards of travel in a day. I used to walk that to grab a bagel in the morning. I swear that I am going on big long hike once I am off this boat. And then doing some laundry for Christs sake.
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"Throw me in a cage with a hungry Namibian and I'll loose every time."
[EDITOR'S NOTE: A discussion over 3 inch thick steaks on how looking meat in the eye before eating it is something that Westerners can't really relate to. The comment was about knowing what hunger means, not about cannibalism - "For the record".]
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Back to the story (Raitaia -> Bora Bora)
SO, there are flights to the magical mystical land of Maupiti - I just can't get them. I went to Raitaia to see what was possible. There was indeed a ferry which was not so aptly named the "Maupiti Express". My new friend John at the pension let me know that there was one leaving the very next day (YAY!), but that it has to go through Bora Bora and I would have to spend a night there (BOO!). It was a nice place and the island looked good, but even the "club" beds were $30 with no nets and a large population of lizards, mosquito's and creepy crawlies.
I woke up in the morning and walked a few miles into the town which was more bustling than I had anticipated. As it turned out, Raitaia has the second largest population in the Society Islands and was a stopping point on the cruise ship superhighway. I had about 8 hours to kill which I was surprising fine with (its amazing how patient I had become for such things).
So the boat landed in Bora Bora at 8:00pm or so and John said that the Pension Moon was probably a good place to be, central to my 8:00am ferry to Maupiti and relatively cheap. I started walking south to the pension which was supposed to be 800 yards down from the dock. 30 minutes later, something was obviously amiss. What is it about stray dogs that make them so much more scary at night than during the day? Three, fair sized dogs came out of the bushes with an insatiable thirst for blood (my blood clearly). I gave them my best alpha male impression and they paused their attack, but they didn't buy it in the end. I ran. 50 yards the wrong way later, some invisible territorial line was reached and they waved goodbye with a snarl and one more barring of their teeth. Boy were they ever lucky, I was about to pull a last stand and give them a taste of my steel toed sandals of justice.
I was a bit down. I had drawn a very deep line in the sand that I wasn't going to go to Bora Bora. Nobody had anything good to say about it and it was the most expensive island in the most expensive area of the world. Now that I was hardcore, I had no time for such things. I decided I just wouldn't take any pictures - that would show this island who's boss. The next town was about 10km away. Hitching was out of the question as who knew how long it would take in such a touristed and jaded place? I couldn't go back through the Gauntlet of Ruff. I thought maybe I should find a stick (I am lying about that steel toed bit). Two headlights came up over the horizon.
15 minutes later, I was on my second beer as I slowly meandered around the island of Bora Bora. I wasn't quite sure if I was saved or lounging in a frying pan. The couple who had picked me up knew only a handful of English words - "Yes / No", "hello" and "wife". They spoke French with a really thick Tahition accent and unbelievably fast. It really didn't phase them and for the moment I decided that I really didn't care what happened. I knew I wasn't going to spend $600 for a hotel room (I'm hardcore) and assumed that it would work out in the end. I was going with the flow [EDITOR'S NOTE: I've got a title and a memory for a future post - "10 Polynesian francs that changed the way I look at life". It has do do with "Fluidity", my new mantra I've been trying out. Its not a call to not plan or a lack of will, it is a lack of rigidity, which I have realized was a very bad habit that I picked up somewhere in the last couple of years. More on this to come.] So anyways, I was amassing quite a collection of pot that they kept passing back by the chunk that they wouldn't take back (Mom: I did take a ride from a stranger who was drinking at the time, but this story doesn't end with me in a French jail for 5 years. The Gendarms scare me, mostly because of their hot pants. They have to be tough to walk around in those. I flushed it all at my first opportunity).
"Excuse me my friend, I do not understand. Speak slow? My French is terrible." It worked! He tries his best to enable a conversation. I repeat the words he says that I understand with a yes. Big mistake. He thought that I had somehow magically learned how to speak French while he wasn't looking and he sped away on his verbal bullet train "blahblahblah blahblah blah". We stopped at a store to pick up more beer. Another 15 minutes went by and it was time to nudge this ride a bit into the right direction. "After _this_ store (why don't these guys by more than 3 beers at a time?) maybe we can go to a hotel or pension?" They went silent and looked at each other. A minute went by and it was now clear that they had picked me up simply to party. So it had been an hour and it seemed like we had been down every path in Bora Bora. We stopped at a place with no signs, which magically turned out to be a place for me to sleep. As it turned out, the pension was nice, it was cheap ($90!! I can't _wait_ to go back to Asia where things make sense again), the room had cardboard walls and was barely larger than a single bed, with a mosquito net and a window. I sat out on a very slim slice of rocky sand by the ocean and watched over the "over water" bungalows of the most expensive hotel on Bora Bora. I didn't confirm, but I hear there is one bungalow that was $10k per night).
[insert story about fantastic steak dinner]
[Redact story of friendly wake-up call delivered from matriarch through window at 6am while I rested peacefully completely naked]
[insert story about going with the flow and rolling with the punches when the promised "Le Truck" (that's really the name) bus schedule didn't really exist. Just leisurely walk along the coastal road and someone will pick you up at the very last minute possible for the commute to town]
[insert heaven on earth story, entitled "Heaven on Earth - Maupiti". It should drip with eloquent descriptions of the best of the 15 islands that I visited in the Pacific]
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"Here is the memorable description by Yuri Gagarin of what he saw on the first spaceflight of the human species, aboard Vostok 1, on April 12, 1961:
The sky is completely black; and against the background of this black sky the stars appear somewhat brighter and more distinct. The Earth has a very characteristic, very beautiful blue halo, which is seen well when you observe the horizon. There is a smooth color transition from tender blue, to blue, to dark blue and purple, and then to the completely black color of the sky. It is a very beautiful transition."
"The blue of a cloudless May morning, or the reds and oranges of a sunset at sea, have roused humans to wonder, to poetry, and to science. No matter where on Earth we live, no matter what our language, customs, or politics, we share a sky in common."
"Freedom of belief is pernicious," Bellarmine wrote on another occasion. "It is nothing but the freedom to be wrong."
[EDITOR'S NOTE: From "Pale Blue Dot" - awesome read. Thanks Garth.]
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So I was looking for an old something or other with the word "war" in it. Google desktop didn't find it, but it found an old email from my friend Alison that she shamelessly ripped of a source that no longer matters. I've been trying to define my humour in the wake of "Fluke" and trying to decide why I like Christopher Moore so much (funnily enough, this is a decidedly unfunny endeavour - don't attempt it) and I LOL'd instead of thinking "TWMF (that was mildly funny)" at the below (again). One of the things I liked about Fluke was the way that he describes situations . Like when two characters in the book were being chastised by a woman who was walking to and fro - they watched intently as "two dogs watching meatball tennis" (I've read Lamb and now Fluke and I would highly recommend them both). He's zany and farsical at times, but he embodies my sense of humour that I inherited from my father. It isn't shared by a bunch of people and when I am "off", I am off to most of the people in the room - but at that point most of the jokes are for me anyways so its their fault for listening in. Try dropping a few, dry one-liners in a room full of barely English speaking folks and you can see what I am talking about (which has been happening to me quite frequently - yup its the language barrier, cuz I was dropping bombs of PURE gold. GOLD I tells ya). People don't get it, but "good humour is wasted on a lot of people" (my father's classic bomb dispersal line).
The email went as such:
For to make you laugh:
I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex.
If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them.
Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: "Mankind". Basically, it's made up of two separate words - "mank" and "ind". What do these words mean ? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind.
I guess we were all guilty, in a way. We all shot him, we all skinned him, and we all got a complimentary bumper sticker that said, "I helped skin Bob."
The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
I bet one legend that keeps recurring throughout history, in every culture, is the story of Popeye.
We tend to scoff at the beliefs of the ancients. But we can't scoff at them personally, to their faces, and this is what annoys me.
To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad.
If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.
If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy.
Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone’s neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what is that thing.
Contrary to what most people say, the most dangerous animal in the world is not the lion or the tiger or even the elephant. It's a shark riding on an elephant's back, just trampling and eating everything they see.
As the evening sky faded from a salmon color to a sort of flint gray, I thought back to the salmon I caught that morning, and how gray he was, and how I named him Flint.
Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny.
Instead of trying to build newer and bigger weapons of destruction, we should be thinking about getting more use out of the ones we already have.
I think a good gift for the President would be a chocolate revolver. And since he is so busy, you'd probably have to run up to him real quick and give it to him.
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My goal on this trip is to find a place to live for $5 CAD a day. I want a room with acceptable cleanliness, 2 drinks, a half hour of Internet (which might not exist in this fabled land), 2 meals and to smoke a few cigarettes, drink some water, eat some street vendor snacks / etc. Its cheap here, but I'm going to have to get farther south to get where I want to go. It may not exist and I'll be happy with $10 mostly as a personal comparison, as this is what I used to spend on coffee each day while in Toronto (and I don't drink anything fancy). A day here costs: RM30 for a room (last couple nights I paid RM25 for no fan / screens / net, but needed to upgrade for a fan as it was oppressive). Beer during happy hour is RM6 for two, Internet is 4, plain rice with chili sauce and a coffee for lunch is 2.50 and a dinner treat of a BBQ'd squid, a stingray, hunk of barracuda, tuna or marlin with stir-fried vegetables and fresh chili peppers costs 13. Incidentals for the day run about 5. All told its about RM60 (20 CAD). You can get a decent curry here for RM4 ($1.30), but I haven't quite killed my addiction to seafood and I'm not willing to give up plentiful, high quality hunks of fishy goodness for the extra $2-3. [If you ever eat a stingray, pull perpendicular from the cartilage backbone. If not, you end up with firm "bones" that are soft enough to be edible, but makes the meat a little tougher than it should be. Not my favorite fish, but good enough to have again]. Its a lounge in a hammock and read a book kind of place, but I feel like I am only half way there somehow [and the substantial ant infestation on both of my beds so far isn't allowing me to get the beauty sleep that I so desperately need - this new place has a mosquito net and I have one of my own so I'm going to try and lie on one and put the other over me to see if I can make a Mike sandwich to get some peace. They are small and fast though - we shall see. I am writing this now and I can see about a dozen or so of them climbing all over me and my laptop]. Its good to not be in Singapore though. 
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